Just when you thought X Factor had taken over your life, its only the blimmin start of "I'm (almost) a Celebrity, and I'm pretending I'm here just for the 'experience'!"

News just out that a stream of dangerous ticks have invaded the area, so now the shows "official" doctor has given the all-clear for celebrities to inspect (i.e. fondle) each other to remove the pesky critters.

Despite most hoping this will mean the WAGS of the jungle rubbing each other down, Dave on the text thinks show producers will treat us with image of Kilroy de-ticking Esther Ransen - can't wait!

X Factor tonight, and I'm probably not the only one hoping the ridiculous run of shock eliminations doesn't continue - its amazing how a show can make you feel so mcuh hatred towards a perfectly innocent gentleman! Leona on the show tonight performing her beautiful cover of Snow Patrol's "Run" - a must watch I think.

And in other X Factor news, former runner-up and Eurovision flop Andy Abraham ("the bin man" to you and me) has gone from strength to strength in his career - one mintue performing to the praise of Simon Cowell, the next to a 20% full Worthing Assembly Hall. Daniel aka Rickey Gervais, I'll see you in Bognor this time next year sir!

With a gorgeous tan courtesy of The Lanes Health & Beauty (who covered up my amateur Dale Winton jobby) I'm off to Florida on Monday for 2 weeks - but I'll be leaving the show in the capable, if somewhat greedy, hands of Guy & Andrea.

Have a lovely end-of-November!
Jonesy x

Well it turns out that Michael Jackson himself is actually making a comeback - and a proper one at that. £50m world tour, including the UK, and a new album which he's been beavering away on with John Legend, Neyo and 50 Cent (please don't rap on his records).

In honour of this we played 'Thriller' - which still sounds just as good today - which ties in nicely with Halloween.

Yes I know it's a bit early, but preparation is key - why not trick your friends and family with Halloween sweets - innocent sweets stuffed with deadly (albeit dead) scorpions which are APPARENTLY harmless - anyone want to test that theory? Evidence in picture format below.

Shelley on the email can relate to such evil trickery - substituting the coin in the classic "find the coin in the cake" game for olives and gherkins.

Jess on the other hand can't be bothered with all that malarkey - she's off with her mates on Halloween night dressed as Zombie Spice Girls. Posh Spice as a zombie has CLASSIC written all over it. Imagine how David feels waking up to her.

X-Factor tonight, and amidst pensioner fallouts between Danni and Simon, expect a lovely charity single performed in unison by the contestants.

Expect Danny's smile to blind even Simon, and Austen to sit crying in the corner.

Can't wait!

Morning you - and another glorious Saturday morning, we've been blessed with good weekends recently!

Turns out its a bad week for celebrity pairings - Peter and Jordan may well be having more marriage difficulties to add to the woes of Madge and Guy - who is reportedly getting a 60 million quid divorce payout off her, and 20 million in cash... Imagine the size of the briefcase (drools).

Dan on the email loves Madge but thinks she'd be far too demanding for wifedom- "More gym equipment! More Leotards! More kids!". His words, not mine. Honest.

Americans continue to astound us all now that US Doctors have found the perfect song, at 103bpm, to restart someones heart and bring them back to life - "Stayin' Alive", by the Beegees. I kid you not. If I was dying, I think hearing those high pitched squeels would see me off for good.

Another story I've just noticed but didn't get a chance to cover. Look out girls- drinking too much coffee can shrink your boobs. Somewhere in the countryside, Keira Knightley just fired her dietician.

Back same time next week, look out for some rather fun new features to appear on the show in the coming weeks...

Did you see Britney's new video premiere last night? Phwoar. She's lost the tub (sorry Brit, but I saw the pictures in Heat) and looks sensational, even appearing nudey in a sauna. Who says sex doesn't sell? Not I!

See the full video below for Britney donning various sexy looks including a ginger, Amy Winehouse-esque, waitress

Talking of sexiness, we took a closer look at the "World's Sexiest Men" poll courtesy of Cosmopolitan magazine. To my surprise, oldies dominated with 45 year old Johnny Depp topping the list, and other pensioners including Mr Clooney and Brad Pitt.

Apparently, older men is the "in" thing - Janet text in and asked me/demanded to put out a call for experienced gentlemen. The phone lines went crazy... with silence. Andrea (who's covering for Sarah today 10-2) likes a bit of matured flesh - in Hollywood, she says, you don't age. Sign me up.

Strangest inclusion in the list has to go to #16 - David Tennant. A sex symbol. Seriously!? He makes me feel uncomfortable - not sure if that's his over-acting or his weasle-like features. See picture below for evidence...

See you all same time next week!

P.S. Good Luck England @ Wembley today - but no Borat Mankinis - the Kazakhstan fans take offense. God knows why - they're very flattering.

If, like me, you've been on "Britney Watch" for a while now, you'll be interested to see her video for brand new single "Womanizer"!...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-23EToh43M

And if, like me, you're a Britney fan at heart, you'll be rather pleased to see she's got her act together for a brilliant pop track and a rather hot video!